Neil the Pig nixed as Citizen of the Year

We were stunned, nay flabbergasted, when the press release from the  Sierra Madre Chamber of Horrors arrived in my our in-box and informed us  that Neil lost his bid for Citizen of the Year 2013.  Despite our best efforts and countless swine hours of campaigning and a few attempted bribes,  those that select the COY opted for two human beings this year. We just don’t understand the logic.
It’s not so much as what Neil has done but what he represents to so many in Sierra Madre  –  a bright future without absurd bureaucracy dictating his domicile and other aspects of his life.
For those of you who didn’t manage to read about Neil, we’ll re-cap the juicy details for you:
Neil has lived in Sierra Madre for 17 years without a single citation, complaint or traffic infraction. In fact Neil doesn’t even drive. No, Neil is an upstanding citizen Sierra Madre of the porcine family. He has residence on Montecito thanks to the kindness of his family but someone wanted him out. A fever pitch was reached over the authorities attempting to evict Neil on a technicality – a stupid ordinance that said Hogs weren’t permitted within city limits.
Word spread like wildfire and pretty soon Neil had a lot of support.  Fearing a PR nightmare, the city gave in and allowed Neil to stay. Neil is a Pot Bellied pig and not a Hog.
Now , really, is there anyone more deserving of this honor in Sierra Madre than Neil?  We must insist.   We are pondering requesting a formal recount ! 
While we congratulate Joe and Jacquie Pergola as the chosen ones for 2013, we’d like to remind citizens of Sierra Madre that it is not too late to nominate Neil for Grand Marshal of the famous Fourth of July Parade and give him the dignity he so deserves after such a crushing blow to his ego this morning.
Again it seems we must remind the proletariat  who select the COY each year that the honor could in fact be bestowed on Neil for services rendered next year. Send in protest ballots now, to be counted next year.
After all,  Neil’s significant victory over government’s absurdity should to be heralded on all corners of  Sierra Madre.
Photo and story by Terry Miller

January 16, 2014

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